Love
and somewhere in it all, I just drift away, drunk on emotion…
“Uncategorized” Category
Can Never Have It All
I want a teleportation machine So I could find you in a dream Live in all the moments that unravel me Live out all the secrets I seek but never speak For fear that life is a lie Let me live inside the moment Where you always look that way Combine the bests of all of you So I’d never have to stray Love is such a waste To only have the little tastes There’s so much I never say So much I still deny No matter how much truth I live There’s still those little lies My mind drifts… Continue Reading →
Thoughts on Sobriety
I’m not really sure how long I’ve been sober for now. I know my last drink was before going to Idaho with Amanda. Feels like it was ages ago. Oddly enough, being sober at Punx In The Woods and at Dave’s bachelor party wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Good thing I was sober for the party bus though, otherwise, I don’t think everyone would’ve made it back…at some point we would’ve all wandered off to our own devices far away from the bus if I hadn’t been the drunk herder. What was hard was not drinking… Continue Reading →
Hard To Take A Compliment
So…my last therapy session was about trying to be more approachable. It is so hard for me to accept compliments, and I think I’ve been putting some of my fans off after a show when they tell me they really like my music. When I say “Thank You”, I really do mean it. It is so fucking hard for me to say “Thank You”. I used to put myself down instead. Despite what folks may think, I still have some self-esteem issues. I sing and perform, because it’s the best way I know how to release. I don’t do it… Continue Reading →
Stepping Out
I think what is scariest for me about the solo tour isn’t so much that I’m stepping out on my own now, and regardless of who joins me or not, I will continue on. No, that’s not it. What bothers me the most is how “out of the box” for me that it is. All my life, I have been wrapped up in the punk and metal world for the most part. A punk show in a friend’s garage, and then another at the Lion’s hall in Keizer, OR was my first introduction to any sort of community. I remember… Continue Reading →
Hopes Only Live In The Up
The name of this blog would make a good album title. 🙂 So generally, I try to never get my hopes up, but then if I didn’t, I might lose that “child-like” excitement that overwhelms me at times and makes up a great part of who I am. Met up with another musician and spent quite a number of hours with him. In that time, we spoke of music, touring, and other things of the sort. We both entered the meeting not really expecting a whole lot, and walked away already collaborating on music. He knows almost 9 of my… Continue Reading →
Prepping For Tour
I’m excited…just got done printing out merch, mailing list, and calendar sheets. I’ve got 5 dates in the works starting in Portland on October 2nd. A friend just gave me some black out material for the Canopy, so I’m able to sleep in the day without light pollution. Been making a “to do” list that seems to grow longer every day. 🙂 It feels good. I’ve been in bands or troupes since I was 14, and this is the first time I’m going to work completely for myself. This will also be the first time I’ve ever gone on tour… Continue Reading →
Up the stairs, down the hall, and to the left…
I remember the very first time I entered these doors…one slow step at a time. My hand dragged across the banister, the walls, the doors. I saw the name “David E. Dickman” printed on a plaque just outside the door, took a deep breath, then turned the handle. That was almost seven years ago. I keep hitting these points in my life where I think I’m done, and I’ll never have to walk through that door again, never have to pay someone to listen to the details of my ever changing life…but just when I think I’m done…there I am… Continue Reading →
Poly Sandwiches
I love grilled cheese sandwiches, but I also really love hot pastrami with pickles and mustard. Grilled cheese can never be pastrami, and pastrami can never be grilled cheese. I’d never want them to be the same. You use different bread, prepare them differently, and the taste is completely different. Just because I love grilled cheese and pastrami doesn’t mean I love tuna-fish or egg salad sandwiches or any other sandwich. I enjoy peanut butter and jelly sometimes, but that’s only sometimes when I crave it, and it’s the only sandwich that will do at that moment. It really is… Continue Reading →
10 Years
10 years ago, a man sat across from me at a picnic table. I had never seen him before, but his eyes made me feel as though I’d known him my whole life and more. I never saw him sit down, I just looked up and he was there. He told me that my purpose in life was to be a beacon of light and love, to help those in the darkness find their way. Then he left, and I never saw him again. I laughed. 12 hours ago, I finally understood exactly what he meant. I don’t know exactly… Continue Reading →