“Uncategorized” Category
Uncategorized | August 11th, 2012
My first therapy appointment in over 6 months is scheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. There’s so much to process inside my brain right now. I’ve been completely sober for a month or so now, it’s a weird feeling. Not the sobriety so much as everything that’s available to me. I really like making buttons, been doing a lot of that. The goal is to re-up on supplies, and put the profits into savings so I can make the repairs needed to turn my truck into a reliable touring rig. I know he can get me anywhere in Washington and Oregon,… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | July 28th, 2012
So I figured I’m overdue an update. I’ve been extremely tired these last few weeks. Honestly, exhausted would be an understatement. A lot of traveling, driving back and forth between Oregon, Washington and Idaho…the documentary is off to a really good start, and there’s a lot of support, but once you start opening a can of worms, it keeps growing and growing and growing. Didn’t realize just how close to home everything was going to hit. On the upside, there’s members of my family that have started some major life changes towards breaking the cycle, I’ve started a real relationship… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | July 14th, 2012
Fear sits like a rock in my gut, and the only way to overcome it is to face it. This next week is going to open many path ways, and I know I’m strong enough to face it, but still the fear is there. Hard doesn’t even come close to describing the challenges Monday will lead into. Every journey I take, every step that leads to a part of the process is as equally important as the last, and no matter what happens, know that if I ever said I love you, I meant it. I’ve never been the easiest… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | July 5th, 2012
For every measure of trust, there’s an equal measure of uncertainty that comes with the territory. Because there’s uncertainty, there’s also risk factors. Uncertainty, trust, and risk is all a packaged deal. How great the risk is generally weighed out by the known actions of whatever it is your putting your trust into. Specifically, I’m talking about people. Trust is hard to come by, especially when you’ve been fucked over before or let down numerous times. Trust is hard to build, and super easy to destroy. However, once you decide to put your trust in someone, it’s best to go… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | July 2nd, 2012
Out of my head? Out of my mind? Only for a moment. Stepping foot back onto somewhat solid ground, regained direction and focus. The last tour unintentionally opened a flood gate of unresolved shit I didn’t realize still existed as strongly as it did, and it’s requiring some massive purging and recalibrating of the core that drives me onward. I will not stop, I will not give up, and in death my energy will leave a permanent fucking mark on this world. This is a war I was bred for. I’ve been home an hour. It’s now 7:01am. The last… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | June 30th, 2012
Been talking to Dan a lot since I got home, especially these last few days. Been opening up to him a lot more. I think I’ve just decided to trust him completely. After 9 years, I guess I’ve just decided to say fuck it. I always confess to him whatever is bugging me before I make shit public, he’s a strong fucking man. I’m at a point right now where I’m just not sure which direction to go. So much shit emotionally has been laid out in front of me. I’ve been asking myself “how the fuck can I be… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | June 29th, 2012
This is me. This is the me that most never gets to see. This is the me when there’s no distractions, and this is a step to moving forward.
Uncategorized | June 28th, 2012
The weeks go by like the minutes of the day, and life is so unpredictable. I had a great day yesterday. Been spending a lot of free time with Brad, because it’s been bringing out the painter in me, and it’s really easy to talk to him because of how similar we are. He’s got 21 years on me, so it’s nice to gain some perspective from someone who’s lived more experiences than I have, and has a similar way of thinking. Somewhere along, halfway through the day it had been brought to our attention that Hell’s Kitchen is closing… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | June 26th, 2012
It’s not that my head was a mess this last week, it’s that my head has always been a mess. It’s like the person who has a cluttered bedroom, but they know exactly where everything is up until the point the person with the good intentions comes by and tidy’s the place up for them. Except instead of cleaning persons, you come in contact with folks who shake up your life. Some are for the better, some for the worse, and some you barely even notice they were there. I asked Dan today why it is that I refuse to… Continue Reading →
Uncategorized | June 20th, 2012
So I’m very, very close to launching my Kickstarter campaign. I’m waiting for the amazon processing to complete. I used to ask myself “just how much is one person able to take?” Over time, I’ve learned that the answer is very simple…as much as you are able to carry. My joy is as equally as great as my sorrow. I’m so scared…anything could happen. Nothing could happen, or everything could happen. Never know until you try, and I’m not too scared to try. Never too scared to try. My final draft is done. I’ve sent the preview to a bunch… Continue Reading →