The beginning of the new

Uncategorized | November 15th, 2015

I’ve been in a hibernation of sorts, to say the least. It’s absolutely amazing to me that I honestly believed I could go through a divorce and still continue on with my life as though it wasn’t that big of a deal. It was a HUGE deal. It’s affected every single aspect of my life from my music to my business, my sanity, and everything in between. I’ve been super focused on change and adapting to my new life. I’m finally learning how to just simply “be” again. So without too much focus on the past, I’m just going to… Continue Reading →

So here we go

Uncategorized | August 23rd, 2014

I’ve been as quiet as I can be when I’m wedged between wanting to scream at the top of my lungs while gouging my eyes out and the calm place of simply accepting my situation as it is, growing from it, and moving on. Dan and I are getting a divorce. That’s the short version, and in a way, I guess that’s the only version that really matters, because it’s plain and simple fact and no amount of explaining, finger pointing, or anything else is going to change that. I sit here in my shared bedroom atop of the 4th… Continue Reading →

Shifting With The Tide

Uncategorized | April 1st, 2014

I know I’ve been quiet a lot here lately. Most of that is due to being super busy and a lack of reliable internet connections. Far as work life, everything is good. I still love working for Bob, and everything is on the up and up out here on the road. Home life, on the other hand, has been severely neglected, and Dan and I are doing what we can to work through it, which includes me doing something I’ve never done before; passing up a tour. After Europe, I’ll be home a good 5 months (at least), to focus… Continue Reading →

Day 1

Uncategorized | February 13th, 2014

“Most the time it feels like I’m cheating on my art with my family.” – Vern White No truer words have ever been spoken. It’s difficult to explain to people how to balance the things you’re passionate about with the obligations you’ve grown to love. I am never as whole as I am when I’m on the road, I just happened to fall in love some where along the way. Who I am out here is one of the biggest pieces that I am and I’ll never be able to share that with the man I love. We all have… Continue Reading →

The Woman I Was, The Woman I Am

Uncategorized | January 29th, 2014

This has been a really weird month…weirder than normal…it started out with my mom just wanting to talk and say hi, see how I was doing because she suddenly realized she has a phone and can do that. As the month comes to a close, I had the best conversation I’ve ever had with my dad in my entire life. A real, meaningful, deep conversation that lasted a good long while. No distractions, no subject changes when shit got emotional…something real. I’m beginning to see the domino effect take hold as I continually strive for a better life for myself… Continue Reading →

Embracing the struggle

Uncategorized | January 23rd, 2014

I’m leaving in 2 weeks or so for 7-8 months of solid touring. There’s been so much on my mind, but I haven’t really had time to collect my thoughts, as I’ve been working my ass off, and spending as much time with Dan as possible. He leaves for a 2 week, work related class on Sunday and when he gets back, I will already be gone. It’s still hard for me to find balance in my home life, but I’ve found that if I talk to Dan about what’s bugging me instead of shutting down and only focusing on… Continue Reading →

One Long Weekend

Uncategorized | January 8th, 2014

So the New Years Art Show I hosted took place last Friday. I meant to create a post focused on my thoughts and reflections from it on Sunday, but I was hit with one of the worst flu bugs that has ever hit me in over 10 years around 4am on Sunday morning. Today, it was a huge life achievement that I was able to open and close the brown sugar container on my own, and I just went up and down the stairs of my home 6 times in the last 5 minutes gathering items for laundry and disposing… Continue Reading →

Thanking My Lucky Stars

Uncategorized | December 29th, 2013

I have never known real love until I met Dan…through that I learned to love myself and learned to accept the love of those around me. Still, this bitch has got a lot of baggage and hard as I try to purge it all, some shit still gets to me. More than anything I hate feeling worthless and treated like an afterthought. I hate being kicked when I’m already down. I think everyone does. Still, I married the best fucking person in the universe and he gives the best hugs. Sobriety is hard as fuck some days, having Baker in… Continue Reading →

Like the rest of us…

Uncategorized | December 15th, 2013

I was bitching, because I do that, and a friend had posted a comment about, “boo hoo, you’ve been off traveling the world and having fun, and now you have to work and be responsible like the rest of us.” That statement has been kicking around in my mind for months, well pretty much since I first saw it.  I guess something in the ignorance of the statement struck a nerve. All I ever really do is work. I do play when I can, and the road always leaves a huge, shit eating grin on my face…but it’s not all… Continue Reading →

Steady

Uncategorized | November 27th, 2013

This concept of sleep is strange to me. I finally gave up trying to get up at any certain time and my appearance escapes me. It’s like my body is still trying to function on tour mode, my heart is trying to function in home mode, and my brain just don’t know what the fuck to make of it all. I know I’ve been pretty manic here recently. I went from full on board to knowing what I wanted it and tackling it, to stressing money, to trying to get ahead of bills, to running right back into tour prep… Continue Reading →

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