The Broke Bitch Tour
When I started this shit on Sunday, I had $73 dollars in my pocket, half a tank of gas, and half a sandwich baggy full of quarters. My goal is to do this whole tour without any financial help from my husband, and so far, so good. 🙂
Haven’t cracked my bag of quarters yet, and the least amount I’ve had in my wallet when rolling into any town was 4 bucks so far, and somehow between the combination of merch sales and the little I’ve been pulling in off the door, it’s been just enough to keep the gas tank full and a little bit of food in my belly. I believe in the power of my dreams. Anything is possible with some solid determination.
I started the tour with John, but on day 2, he asked if I’d drop him back off in Tacoma on my way to Bellingham, so I did. Other than him driving up to join me at the 2 Bit for the show I just played, I’m flying solo now. I’m actually really enjoying the alone time, not that I didn’t appreciate the 3 shows John played with me, and I look forward to finishing the recordings we started, but I really enjoy kicking it by myself.
Even now, sitting in some random rest area. I love the drive to the next destination, the tunes cranked, and just being.
The 2 Bit show was a blast, well they’ve all been super fun. The other two bands never showed up, so I played every song I have finished that I could remember and half a SHiT song. Everyone has been really nice, regardless if it’s just me playing or both John and I. I’m glad I’m finally doing this. I want to keep going. I’m due home on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I’m really hoping I’m able to pick up some other shows that might keep me out a bit longer. Idunno, there’s just something about the stars above and a dark, open road back-lined by mountain silhouettes that I really love. I’ve missed this. All my drives have been back and forth between T-town and Salem mostly, very familiar. It’s nice to be jumping on a different highway and heading East. Also nice to have a drive that’s longer than 2 hours.
Been listening to a lot of Bob Wayne, well specifically the song “Hunger In My Soul” had that cranked on repeat for about an hour until it was time to shuffle on through the mp3 player.
Meeting up with Rachel Shaw Tate between 10am and noon for a photo shoot. Really fuckin’ stoked to finally be doing a shoot specifically for the website. Gonna take pictures with Steve and Sam at an abandoned Chemical Plant. I’m so fucking excited! Speaking of Steve, other than one of the hinges on his tail end breaking the first night of tour, he has been running like a champ. He made the pass his bitch, and I couldn’t be a more proud Mama if I tried. He’s a good truck, and I love him a lot. Sam has been purring like a kitten too, I think she enjoys being out of the case so often.
For as much I love all the adventures gone by, it’s nice to not be on the back burner for a change. It’s been so hard to get this far, to build up the confidence to carry out this plan of action, and I still get really nervous sometimes, but I’m still so very glad I’m following through on stepping out alone. I’ve had this stupid shit-eating-grin plastered on my face ever since I hit the I-90 tunnel, and I don’t think it’s going away anytime soon. 😀
A guy at the bar told me he really loved my voice, and then he knelt down next to me, and gave me this very serious face as he said, “but why so sad? Where does it come from?” and I smiled, “I have to purge it some way so I can keep this.” and I pointed to my smile. And he nodded, “but how old are you? I mean I’ve worked a lot in my life, but can it really be that bad?” I just smiled. I didn’t know what else to say really. I told him I’m 29 they are all songs from my life, and it was up to him to decide, but it’s all true.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot on the drive East.
Everyone needs an outlet. Yes, I sing sad songs, really depressing sad songs, and like I’ve said before, my heart has been hurting for years. There’s something about the purge though that makes it all okay, and that’s what the performance is for, that’s what the songs are for. It’s for the purge. If I couldn’t purge, I’d still be wearing those songs like a shroud, and I just don’t want that. If I can take it to the stage, maybe I can leave it on the stage ya know. There’s so many facets to my being, and sadness is only one of them. I’d say my sorrow and my happiness are pretty equally matched. Why sad songs? Why anything really?
Anyway, still got a few more shows to go before I start heading back West, and it’s time to get me some shut eye. I’ve got enough gas in the tank to get me to Yakima after my photo shoot, so I’m thinking it’s going to be another amazing day, and I’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
Good night everybody, and thank you so much for all the love and support throughout the years. Thank you for the pushes and jabs when I needed them and the hugs and smiles, because I think I’m always gonna need them. This project is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most freeing. See ya when I get there.
-Becka ‘Zebrana Bastard’