So I guess I’m The Asshole, again
Broke up with my girlfriend via email, so it ends the way it began…via email. I think I’m done dating people in general. I mean as far as actively seeking out anyone outside of mine and Dan’s relationship. I have a hard time communicating what I mean, and even when I try really hard to send out a clear message, it always gets twisted.
She said if I really cared, I would’ve done it face to face. I’m not sure if that means really cared about her as a person, really cared about the last 6 months that we’ve been dating or whatever…but I guess she’s right in that I don’t care enough to find out what she means by that.
I promised myself a long time ago that if their ever came a point where my brain just clearly said to me, “This isn’t going to work”, that I would end it right then and there. Why? Because every time I’ve gone against that, it always turns into some super messy breakup further on down the line. Better to end it now than to drag it out and hope things get better.
I’m very specific in that I know what I want and I know what I’m looking for. I’m very systematic, and when things make sense I keep going. When they stop making sense, then I change my path. I do not believe in trying to change people to fit my needs, and I’m not going to go through a list of what I don’t like about someone, because chances are, there is someone out there who will be right for them exactly as they are. The last thing I want to do is give someone a complex by picking apart all the things I don’t like. I told her she wasn’t right for me, and she got angry and said you don’t just end things without talking to someone first.
Some people don’t end things that way, but I do. When I’m done, I’m done, and I move on. Doesn’t mean I don’t care, just means it’s time to go. Dan has been the only person in my life I ever felt like holding onto. Do I still think she’s awesome? Yes, in her own way. Do I still want to date her? No. There’s parts of her personality that majorly clash with me, and I don’t want to compromise or talk about it, nor do I want her to compromise who she is to please me.
Also in her reply message, she mentioned things that she apparently never liked about the way I came across certain things, but she waited until I broke up with her to mention it…which means I was right on my feelings that she was holding how she felt back.
We had some fun times and some shared new experiences…I am not sad for any of that, it was good. I don’t know if we really could’ve been friends afterwards had I told her these things to her face either…but I would like to give her back her coffee cup. She seemed to really care for it, and I feel bad about having it here at my house.