Comforts of Home
I’m really starting to enjoy being home again. And by home, I mean hanging out with Baker. It’s been really nice. Going out Saturday night with Dan is something the two of us haven’t done together in a long time, and running into so many friends we used to see all the time back when we first got together was very nostalgic.
I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the balance of home life vs. life on the road, but it’s finally been coming together a lot more this last year. Dan is so rad, and so fun to hang out with. I forget sometimes how funny he is. Marriage is such a weird thing, but it’s nice. It’s so weird to me that we’ve been together as long as we have, so many memories we’ve shared, and I love it.
The simple things, like sharing peanut butter smeared apple slices we grew on our tree while watching All Dogs Go to Heaven. Yes, I love this man. I love this man more than words can ever express…and he’s awesome. Being sober has made me appreciate so much about my life…but more than anything, I appreciate this solid rock of support and love who has picked me up so many times when my brain was scrambles, and the pieces just kept piling up. Yes, I love this man.
As I got ready for my weekend Halloween festivities, I pulled my hair back into pony tails, noticing the bits of silver in my hair, and I smiled. I put some makeup on, and looking back at me from the mirror was a grown ass woman. She’s aging, and so far it’s been pretty gracefully, but I can tell by my reflection that I’m not 18 or 21 anymore. I look at Dan, and I see the laugh crinkles around his eyes, and I love them. I love this whole aging process, and drifting through the years together.
Every day that passes, I am so thankful that I’ve been lucky enough to find such a good man, I owe him my life on so many occasions. Then I smile when I remember all the trouble we used to get in together back when we first hooked up. There’s so much here, and so much that’s said by just a glance and a simple smile.
Through his love, patience, acceptance, support, and understanding, I was able to find myself and love myself. There’s these days when I can tell by the way he looks at me that he’s needed me just as much as I’ve needed him, and there’s this comfortable, unspoken bond that I really can’t get enough of.
I think about the sillyness that ensues throughout our daily lives, and while we aren’t your conventional couple…there’s something here that just works. There’s a good balance between goofy and intelligence that makes a day spent together never boring, and all I can think about is yes, yes I love this man.
We’ve shared close to 10 years of our lives together as friends, and soon we will have shared 8 years as mates. That’s such a long time to be with someone, and yet there’s times when it feels like we’ve just met and are still getting to know each other. I love this journey.
Curled up with a hungover Baker on the kitchen floor.