3 States and Still Kickin’
I arrived in Coure D’Alene about an hour ago. There’s $133 in my wallet, got a slow leak in my rear driver’s side tire (think I popped the plug when I ran over my bass case the other day), spirits are high, and the vibe here at Calypsos Coffee is awesome! I can’t wait to play tonight.
The show in Spokane was amazing, and definitely the best show of the tour so far. I played at the Ogre’s Den, which is this warehouse my buddy, Jeff, rents out. He threw a keggar, and considering I was up against the Koffin Kats that night, I’d say the turn out was pretty good. I wasn’t really sure how the crowd was going to respond. A growly metal/punkish band opened up the night, followed up by Hot Box, which is an all girl punk band that I played with when I came through Spokane while on tour with The Assasinators. They all remembered me, and it was awesome to get to see them play again.
I was stoked to see Piper, a friend I grew up with in Salem that lives out here, and spent a good chunk of the evening hanging out and catching up with her.
I guess after doing this for almost 2 years, and still having yet to be booed off stage, I should stop being nervous about how the crowd is going to respond to me. I started this shit opening up punk and metal shows, and if that’s all I play for the rest of my career, so be it. At least I know I’ll most likely enjoy the music. The crowd was absolutely fantastic, super attentive, and responsive to everything I dished out. It honestly felt really good. It’s nights like that where I don’t mind so much doing this by myself, and the more I do it, the more I start to enjoy doing it alone. Toms and Cello would be nice, guitar here there with some keys as accent is how I hear everything in my head, but going it alone is better than the headache of dealing with other people. I used to hate standing up on stage alone, but as time goes on, I’m really starting to appreciate it more. I wanna pick up a sustain pedal at some point, and seeing some of Jeff’s interesting creations for his one man band has got me thinking a lot more about things I could incorporate to make the sound a little bit fuller. He’s got this kick pedal attached to a washing brush, and when he hits it, it bangs on this tambourine while the brush scrapes across the washboard. I’ve seen set ups similar, but never up close where I actually got to inspect them.
So yes, lots of thoughts buzzing around my head.
The Spokane show was also the first time I’ve ever had a line of people waiting to talk to me and buy merch since that Longview show I played with Bastard Child a few years back. It honestly felt really good. Everyone was really nice, and this lady named Suzie asked me how long I was going to be around town for. This lead to a wonderful conversation which has extended my tour out to a couple extra days. She runs this radio show called Queens of Noise on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month, and she asked if I would come and play live on the air and hang out during the radio show. How I could I say no to that? I love doing things I’ve never done before. 🙂 Everyone has been so nice to me on this tour. When you tour with other bands and stuff, it’s hard to tell if people are really into you, or if they just support you because you’re being endorsed by the band that helped to get you there. Doing this alone and getting the same response has really helped to eliminate the doubts I used to have. I’m glad I did this. It has really boosted my confidence and self-esteem, and now I know for sure…yes, I can really do this. Alone even, if need be.
Jeff and I have been talking a lot since my arrival in Spokane, and we’re planning on touring together for a couple months starting in April of next year. Since we both have solo projects and have no problem walking our separate ways anywhere along the tour route if we really piss each other off, I think it’ll be a good way to go. Plus if the truck breaks down or whatever mishaps we might encounter along the way, we’re both pretty resourceful, strong, and don’t mind busking if need be. I honestly don’t think we’ll really have any trouble with each other. We’ve always got along pretty well. I think it will be a lot of fun.
I like John, and what he brings to the table with guitar, but I don’t think we’re good touring partners. The fact that he decided he wanted to go home on the 2nd day of a 10 day tour only confirms that for me. I hope we finish the recording we started when I get back. Idunno, we really didn’t talk about much of anything. So I honestly don’t know where we stand. I know he plans on playing some local shows when I get back, but I won’t go on the road with him again. If I can’t rely on someone for a 10 day tour, it just seems pointless to try anything longer with the same person.
Zebrana Bastard was never a band, I am Zebrana Bastard, just as much as I am Becka or Rebecca Baker. It’s just another extension of my personality, and I don’t think I ever really explained that before to John. I think he was expecting it to be a band, and it’s really not. Which is fine. I’m not the best at communication, especially with this project. I’m also not very good with compromise, and on this project, I’m not willing to compromise. I’d rather go it alone than compromise anything. There’s a crowd out there that gets it, and I’ve been finding them one town at a time. It’s small, but it’s growing, and I love and appreciate them(you people reading this) more than I will ever be able to express. I was going to go by Rebecca Lynne (my first and middle name), but there’s already a couple artists out there that go by that already, so I created ‘Zebrana’, and when Brian and I created Bastard Child, ‘Bastard’ seemed like a nice addition to ‘Zebrana’. I think it suits me.
This project is my heart, 100% my heart, and it’s just as real as I am. I will not take less than what I need for it just to get me by. If I never find the right players to join me, then so be it, but I know in my heart the right folks will cross my path somewhere along the line.
Anyway, in about 45 minutes the open mic starts, and I’m playing a special guest slot from 7:30-8:30, and I need to figure out what songs I’ll be playing. Tomorrow I’m playing another open mic at Chairs Coffee in Spokane, just to fill the day before I play on Queens of Noise Wednesday…then I’ll head home, and begin saving up for my Spring tour.
Thank you everyone for believing me, for sharing my path, and for the constant support and encouragement. I’m finally starting to see the potential you have always seen, and it feels good to finally believe in myself, and not just be floating along simply because it’s what I want to be doing. Not that it’s not a bad reason, but a little bit of believing in ones self is a nice thing to finally have.