Hopes Only Live In The Up

Uncategorized | August 25th, 2012

The name of this blog would make a good album title. 🙂 So generally, I try to never get my hopes up, but then if I didn’t, I might lose that “child-like” excitement that overwhelms me at times and makes up a great part of who I am. Met up with another musician and spent quite a number of hours with him. In that time, we spoke of music, touring, and other things of the sort. We both entered the meeting not really expecting a whole lot, and walked away already collaborating on music. He knows almost 9 of my… Continue Reading →

Prepping For Tour

Uncategorized | August 22nd, 2012

I’m excited…just got done printing out merch, mailing list, and calendar sheets. I’ve got 5 dates in the works starting in Portland on October 2nd. A friend just gave me some black out material for the Canopy, so I’m able to sleep in the day without light pollution. Been making a “to do” list that seems to grow longer every day. 🙂 It feels good. I’ve been in bands or troupes since I was 14, and this is the first time I’m going to work completely for myself. This will also be the first time I’ve ever gone on tour… Continue Reading →

Up the stairs, down the hall, and to the left…

Uncategorized | August 21st, 2012

I remember the very first time I entered these doors…one slow step at a time. My hand dragged across the banister, the walls, the doors. I saw the name “David E. Dickman” printed on a plaque just outside the door, took a deep breath, then turned the handle. That was almost seven years ago. I keep hitting these points in my life where I think I’m done, and I’ll never have to walk through that door again, never have to pay someone to listen to the details of my ever changing life…but just when I think I’m done…there I am… Continue Reading →

Poly Sandwiches

Uncategorized | August 17th, 2012

I love grilled cheese sandwiches, but I also really love hot pastrami with pickles and mustard. Grilled cheese can never be pastrami, and pastrami can never be grilled cheese. I’d never want them to be the same. You use different bread, prepare them differently, and the taste is completely different. Just because I love grilled cheese and pastrami doesn’t mean I love tuna-fish or egg salad sandwiches or any other sandwich. I enjoy peanut butter and jelly sometimes, but that’s only sometimes when I crave it, and it’s the only sandwich that will do at that moment. It really is… Continue Reading →

10 Years

Uncategorized | August 12th, 2012

10 years ago, a man sat across from me at a picnic table. I had never seen him before, but his eyes made me feel as though I’d known him my whole life and more. I never saw him sit down, I just looked up and he was there. He told me that my purpose in life was to be a beacon of light and love, to help those in the darkness find their way. Then he left, and I never saw him again. I laughed. 12 hours ago, I finally understood exactly what he meant. I don’t know exactly… Continue Reading →

Changes are constant

Uncategorized | August 11th, 2012

My first therapy appointment in over 6 months is scheduled for this upcoming Tuesday. There’s so much to process inside my brain right now. I’ve been completely sober for a month or so now, it’s a weird feeling. Not the sobriety so much as everything that’s available to me. I really like making buttons, been doing a lot of that. The goal is to re-up on supplies, and put the profits into savings so I can make the repairs needed to turn my truck into a reliable touring rig. I know he can get me anywhere in Washington and Oregon,… Continue Reading →

Tired

Uncategorized | July 28th, 2012

So I figured I’m overdue an update. I’ve been extremely tired these last few weeks. Honestly, exhausted would be an understatement. A lot of traveling, driving back and forth between Oregon, Washington and Idaho…the documentary is off to a really good start, and there’s a lot of support, but once you start opening a can of worms, it keeps growing and growing and growing. Didn’t realize just how close to home everything was going to hit. On the upside, there’s members of my family that have started some major life changes towards breaking the cycle, I’ve started a real relationship… Continue Reading →

The next chapter begins…

Uncategorized | July 14th, 2012

Fear sits like a rock in my gut, and the only way to overcome it is to face it. This next week is going to open many path ways, and I know I’m strong enough to face it, but still the fear is there. Hard doesn’t even come close to describing the challenges Monday will lead into. Every journey I take, every step that leads to a part of the process is as equally important as the last, and no matter what happens, know that if I ever said I love you, I meant it. I’ve never been the easiest… Continue Reading →

Trust

Uncategorized | July 5th, 2012

For every measure of trust, there’s an equal measure of uncertainty that comes with the territory. Because there’s uncertainty, there’s also risk factors. Uncertainty, trust, and risk is all a packaged deal. How great the risk is generally weighed out by the known actions of whatever it is your putting your trust into. Specifically, I’m talking about people. Trust is hard to come by, especially when you’ve been fucked over before or let down numerous times. Trust is hard to build, and super easy to destroy. However, once you decide to put your trust in someone, it’s best to go… Continue Reading →

Uncategorized | July 2nd, 2012

Out of my head? Out of my mind? Only for a moment. Stepping foot back onto somewhat solid ground, regained direction and focus. The last tour unintentionally opened a flood gate of unresolved shit I didn’t realize still existed as strongly as it did, and it’s requiring some massive purging and recalibrating of the core that drives me onward. I will not stop, I will not give up, and in death my energy will leave a permanent fucking mark on this world. This is a war I was bred for. I’ve been home an hour. It’s now 7:01am. The last… Continue Reading →

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